Starts like this… the Scam
I posted an ad to rent out my place… I have gotten the exact same email twice now. This is scam – I know this. But this time I am going to play along with it. I have responded to the email and waiting for the reply.
Here is the email I received: I will update this post as I receive more of it.
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I do appreciate your response,am very glad and want to thank you for getting back to me,I know that it is very important to know more about someone looking to rent from you,So this is a little bio about me.
About me- I am a friendly 28 year old female who works full time as an occupational Nurse. I am down to earth and easy to get along with. I am very respectful of others’ space and opinions.
My interest in the area is simply because change is needed in everyones life and i am also looking into a different direction,i ve been getting my life back cause of what happened to me here few months ago cause i had this had this break up that really makes me want to give up everything but i am rebuilding my life,so that is one of the reasons of my moving, because i understand that time wait for no one,Paying rent on time will not be a problem as i will also be making the rent fee before the month ends(if you want me to do month to month,and i can also do the lease thing too.),I dont have pet,but i am pet friendly,dont keep late nights too..and am straight.
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The sound of music
The crying in the background provides the perfect montage to any writer who wishes to make sense of any idea and turn them into words on the paper or on the computer monitor- not an easy task I must add. If you have children you know exactly what I am talking about? There is no need for me to go further into details and explain how this sounds plays out every night.
You are familiar with the sounds and the music. It is after all harmony for your ears and you are used to it. Any time you are in the same environment for awhile, you get used to it. It is human nature. At three in the morning the noise wakes you up from you sweet dreams. You knew it before you went to sleep few hours ago. The sound of music, the tunes is familiar and most of the time they are echoed for no apparent reason. Although I must say you do try your best to figure out why this song is playing at this time of night or day but to no avail. It does repeat itself over and over again and you know that there is nothing causing for it, you still try to figure it out. “What is wrong?” You ask. “Where does it hurt? Is it your stomach?” You continue with questions and the only answer is more harmony. “Do you want medicine? Does it hurt when I press your legs? Tell me?” There isn’t any stop in your questioning series. You are desperate for an answer. Anything would suffice at this time. You have asked these before many times and you know the answer. Music!
You think that by asking question after question you will get your answer now, any time, perhaps some day –no, not anytime soon. Not until the kid is old enough to say “Damn it dad, I am hungry.” or “I just want to cry so you can hear your favorite music at three in the morning.” After all, isn’t you have become accustomed to your tunes and want more of it
Still the procrastinator
So it is only couple of days left till this paper, no this homework -but it is not an homework. I am sitting here typing away an English paper. It is due tomorrow and I have only few hours to finish this paper for my English101 class. Ms. Turley, yes that is her name. She is a good teacher. Let me restate, she is a great teacher -always critical of my work. “Constructive criticism,” so she says as she looks at me and then my paper and then she points to the red mark on the page and says “…see you need to restate your thesis statement.” I always go back and reword my thesis and sometimes the entire paragraph. Yes I do like to reword the whole “draft” paper, but I have not much time to do it on this project at hand. It is due tomorrow.
I have to write this and I have to do it by end of the night. I still need to get some shuteye before I have to work in the morning. Even if I get three hours, “I am good.” so I think to myself before starting to write my paper. I start with my thesis statement and then go back and rewrite it again. “I bet Ms. Turley would say I have to rewrite it again.” My thoughts exactly! I have written it about a few times and now I have made four paragraphs out of this. I need three ideas, a, b, c, and I need a “conclusion” paragraph where I have to restate my thesis and repeat the three main ideas again and not in so many words.
I remember when I had to do a paper due for my Humanities class and I had to write that paper the day before. I am going through the same situation again. “I swear this will not happen to me again.” I told myself the first time and yet I repeat like the Chicago Bull in the nineties. But this is not Basketball. They practice many days before the game. I only write mine on the night it is due. What is the difference? Here I am again trying to figure out my three main ideas.
Oh yes the paper is supposed to be “demonstrative essay” and I am good at that. I can demonstrate how to use the Seven Eleven’s fountain to get free slushy all over you mouth and face or I can show you how to buy and eat a Jumbo Jack from Jack in the Box. I can do this paper. “Have you had Jack lately.” is written on my computer’s screen. “Yes. This is my thesis.” I tell myself and will have to demonstrate how to eat a Jumbo Jack. I will demonstrate how you can walk to the counter. Then you will get your food from the front cashier and finally I will show how you can finish off that burger you just ordered. I am done with my thesis and main ideas. Now I have to add details.
This is getting to be too much. I have to stop writing the papers on the night they are due. I am making another pledge to stop the madness and stop the procrastination. How can I guarantee that I will follow my own advice? I only just broke it a moment ago. “This time it is different.” “Would Ms. Turley like this essay.” I tell myself and move on to write the details. There is no time to think whether Ms. Turley will like it or not. Besides I will get my share of “constructive criticism”, and will adjust accordingly. For now I need to finish this essay. Good now”…we will walk to the front office and say ‘hey’, then move forward with your order. ” That is a good start. Another sentence and you have your first details. I cannot wait to finish this off. I could seriously use the time to sleep. “It’s been a long day.” I got work in the morning and then more school and what about the Humanities homework. You can do that tonight? Ms. Turley would sure be upset if she found out that I only wrote the essay the night before. I should of thought of it back in those days.
I have realized that sometimes when I write the night before I do a better job of it. If I have to think about what I will write, it would seriously take the juice out of writing. Perhaps I am the only one with this “oddness?” but I believe it. “This, I say will make it.” Exactly my thoughts when I finish this paper. “Can I get a Jumbo Jack? Please.” You should tell the cashiers. She will then ask if you need something else and you will reply “That should do it.” and wait for her to tell you the total. Sweet! Now I am done with the first details of the first main idea -two more to go. “It is getting late.” I think I need to sleep. How will I sleep if I have to finish this essay and print it and turn it in? All those steps have to be taken before I can even start to think about sleeping.
You will walk to a chair in the back of the restaurant and set down. This stuff is good. “If I had to plan to write about this, it would not have happened.” My writings that is – the thoughts are following me every sentence. There is quite thought bothering me behind my brain. I cannot figure it out yet. In so many words I can demonstrate how you can open the wrapper and starting biting on the burger. It is an experience. I should know. I eat Jumbo Jacks all the time and they are always good. “…and now I have to write about it.” I am almost done with the first paragraph. This stuff comes natural. Once you have taken a bite from the burger, do not stop eating until the burger is gone completely. That is the only way you can enjoy and remember that you enjoyed your burger -all of this joy because I get to tell you how to order and then eat it. It seems an easy task. You have all done it. You have walked to a cashier and you have ordered a burger before -perhaps not in a Jack in the Box, but at a Wendy’s restaurant for sure. You never bought a burger upon instruction before you read my essay though. These are ideas that come as I write and even though the paper is due tomorrow, I am sure of it that it will be done. “Ms. Turley sure will enjoy this paper.” Let us see. I will also be happy once I have it back and rewrite the whole thing and add more. This story will go on even if the “demonstrative essay” story has only four paragraphs. I still need to add to this paper and make it long – a story that I will have to write every details about.
“This is a process and it takes time.” My boss always says that. The only difference is that my process is over night. It used to start with a pre-plan plan, but now it has become express like FedEx. Not a bad idea if you ask me, but please don’t. I cannot guarantee. Once you have finished your burger, you will trash the wrapper and the tray cover and put the tray on top of the trashcan and walk away. “And that ladies and gentlemen is how you order and eat a Jumbo Jack from the Jack in the Box.” I conclude my last paragraph. I have to spell check and grammar check the essay and print it. I am done. I could definitely use the sleep. I will turn the Humanities homework late. I will send an email to the professor and get an extension. That would help me to get some sleep tonight. I am done with the paper and good to go.
I am an advocate of procrastination, but it becomes a habit. Any type of habit is hard to break. They have patches for the nicotine addiction though –what can I cure with mine. If I mention that it needs a cure, then I must be admitting that procrastination is a disease. Is it? I have become good at writing papers the night before they are due though. It is not out of procrastination. It is out of habit. I have to patch. I am in bed now and I feel good. I have set up my clock to ring exactly at six thirty in the morning. My work starts at eight and that gives me time to shower, grub and hit the door early enough to get to work on time. I have to work for five hours and then I have the school till about ten. I will have to finish the Humanities homework when I get back from work. It is not much. I should be done with it in an hour and hit the bed at twelve. “I will get six and half hours of sleep tonight.” I told myself as I day dreamed in the English class.
I can probably finish this paper and write more but my son is crying and I have to get back to you.