Life
Life. The moment, the first time I took the first breath from the air, I knew that I was part of something. I felt the air rushing through my mouth down to my lung. Then I felt my stomach and chest bump up and down. The blood, that once I used to exchange with my mom did no longer needed her. I was apart from her. for nine months I she carried me and fed me. and then I left. I no longer existed within her, but I was breathing air. Breathing life that every human in this world does. Once again I was part of the humanity. The question come to my mind is, should I be happy with this. Should I not have left my mom for this. I have and now I have felt the pain, the love the hurt. I did not know these things. Feelings rushing through my head and my body, I am alive. should I be happy to be. Can I wish back and go where I came from. Then I no longer need to be feeling pain and love. Are they happy and normal thought that I should be feeling. In this misery of life. The pain will never go away. I am not even sure if I should wish to go back. If I do then who would feel the pain of life. I have, perhaps that makes me feel alive. but, still feeling alive is better that feeling nothing at all. Maybe love. What love is. I am not sure. If I was, then may be I had the answers for all the questions in the world. I don’t. no one else does. Only pain and love remains in this world to let me know that I am alive. but being alive doesn’t make a lot of since to me. because there come misery and pain. And love is pain. So why bother. To feel alive. is that why/ I don’t know. Maybe I want to find out. And know how it feels to be alive and well. And there would be no more pain. Pain hurt and love, that just goes right next to it. Like twin sisters. Love is a shadow. It follows pain. Or is it the other way. Regardless, if you can find one, the other one is sure to be there, unavoidable. All the pain, love, misery, is part of life. They started the moment I took that first breath. That was pain. I cried and no one listened. I cried and yelled, still no one listened. Sure, they gave me a lot of love, but pain, it was always there. Just like it is. It will never leave me. perhaps that day the last breath leaves my lungs, they the pain and love might just go away.